Woman, being trustful by nature
and ignorant of evil, is the
predestinated prey of the
peddler. It is seldom that the
peddler attacks a man, for he
knows that in all probability he
will be received with coldness,
and that his wares will be
sneered at and his veracity
doubted. Women, on the other
hand, are always curious to see
the contents of a peddler's
pack, and are quite ready to
believe whatever he says. When
he assures them that he is
offering them an opportunity to
buy valuable articles at a
ridiculously cheap rate, they
hasten to buy.
What is really inexplicable
is the fact that, though a woman
may have been cheated by six
successive peddlers, she never
permits her experience to lead
her to distrust the seventh. She
accepts his assurance that he
has the only genuine preparation
for replating old spoons, and
that his eau de Cologne is
manufactured by the original
Farina. This faith in peddlers,
rising triumphant over every
obstacle, is sublime as well as
touching, and is a distinctive
trait of all good women.
Now and then we find a man
who is such by mistake, and who
is thoroughly feminine in his
habits of mind. Mr. Baldwin is
conceded by all the inhabitants
of Oshkosh to be wholly free
from masculine vices, and is as
blameless in his conduct as the
most eminent local mother in
Israel, but there is a universal
conviction that his sex is an
error, and that he was
originally intended to be a
woman. This fully explains the
feminine readiness with which he
yields to the wiles of peddlers.
They seem to be drawn to him as
by magnetic attraction, and they
never fail to sell him
something. It is rumored that
Mr. Baldwin has dozens of
bottles of infamous perfumery,
and scores of packages of brass
jewelry in his room, which he
has bought from time to time of
peddlers who had won his
confidence, while the number of
articles of like origin and
character which he has presented
to the young ladies of Oshkosh
is painfully large.
Of course, it is difficult to
hold Mr. Baldwin guiltless in
this matter, but his errors have
been the result of his
femininity, and surely the
peddlers who have taken a base
advantage of his weakness
deserve by far the greater share
of blame.
When, on Friday last, Mr.
Baldwin bought of a peddler a
bottle of hair cement, with the
view of presenting it to Miss
Bartlett, he meant to do a kind
and thoughtful act. He knew that
ladies are addicted to using
various preparations, such as
bandoline, mucilage, and bloom
of youth for the purpose of
keeping their hair in place and
giving it a smooth and glossy
appearance. The peddler told him
that his hair cement was far
superior to anything of the kind
now in the market, and that no
lady who had once used it would
consent at any price to be
without it. Mr. Baldwin,
therefore, bought a bottle of
the hair cement, and sent it to
Miss Bartlett with a
neatly-written note, in which he
inadvertently renewed his vows
of affection, while entreating
her to use the cement that very
evening for his sake. For what
followed the peddler should be
held primarily responsible, for
it is idle to pretend that, had
Mr. Baldwin foreseen the
consequences of his act, he
would ever have placed the fatal
bottle in the hands of one to
whom he was devotedly attached.
About 8 o'clock in the evening
Mr. Baldwin called on Miss
Bartlett, and was delighted to
notice the unusually glossy
appearance of her hair. She said
that there was no doubt that the
hair cement was better than
bandoline in point of
adhesiveness, and that she hoped
it would prove to be all that a
woman's heart could wish. Still,
she was a little afraid that it
was a trifle too sticky,
inasmuch as the bottle had
already glued itself fast to her
dressing-table. Mr. Baldwin said
he hoped not, and assured her
that the peddler who sold him
the bottle was an honest man,
who could not tell a lie. The
lovers then ceased to discuss
the subject of hair cement, and
seating themselves on the sofa,
proceeded to the business of the
evening, which is said to have
been the solution of a series of
problems of quadratic equations.
At a little after 9 o'clock
there was a sudden alarm of
father in the front hall. In
like circumstances the prudent
young lady always turns up the
light and seats herself in the
rocking-chair, a feat that can
be done by young ladies in good
practice in from three to five
seconds. When Miss Bartlett
undertook to rise with a view to
the light and the rocking-chair,
she exclaimed "Oh, my!" in
agonized tones, and to Mr.
Baldwin's immense astonishment,
remained in her original
position. There was not a second
to be lost, for already the
boots of the father were heard
upon the floor, and he was on
the point of turning the
door-knob. Mr. Baldwin earnestly
begged Miss Bartlett to recall
her energies, or at all events
to move and permit him to take
the rocking-chair, but while she
was entreating him with sobs not
to stir, the door opened and the
father was upon them.
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