“Help! Please...Will Somebody Help Me?” Violence across America
By Miriam Medina

Part I

The Victims

Her loud shrieking anguished cry and plea for help fades away to a barely audible whisper, as the battered victim of domestic violence, rape, or brutal assault desperately struggles against her attacker, clinging to her life. Oftentimes, horribly beaten and bleeding from gashes on her neck, face and head, she lies there almost senseless, as nearby doors and windows remain closed and passersby not wishing to interfere, scurry away in fear for their own lives.

For those that are fortunate enough to live through their horrifying near death experience of broken bones and faces beaten beyond recognition, emotionally scarred they face a fearful and disturbing future. Many victims are reluctant to speak out, as they suffer their endless shame, feelings of helplessness, guilt and desperation in isolated silence, turning to alcohol, drugs or self-mutilation even to the point of contemplating suicide.

What kind of madness is this running rampant, escalating to epidemic proportions throughout the United States? Everyday local newspapers report on some act of violence that has been perpetrated against humanity with headlines such as: "Shooting and Mass Murder on College Campus, "Son Beaten To Death By Father," "A Woman Beaten and Stomped to Death," "Husband Goes Berserk, Killing Wife And Their Three Children," "Spurned Lover Sets Fire To House," "Wife Almost Decapitated by Rum Crazed Husband," "Woman Jogger Raped and Brutally Beaten In Central Park," "Mother, Driven by Post-Partum Depression Drowns Children," and so on and so forth. Tragically; all features of urban and now suburban life.

Violence, is defined as "an abusive exercise of power; injury; outrage. Swift and intense force; rough or injurious physical force, action, or treatment. An act tending to intimidate or overawe by causing apprehension of bodily injury."

Statistics say that most domestic violence victims are female, and that "5.3 million women are abused each year." Acts of violence have also caused the death of "1,232 women that are killed each year" by a current or former spouse, spurned lover, or stalker.

Let’s not forget the innocent children, which are also subjected to Neglect, Sexual, Physical and Emotional abuse as well as being silent spectators to domestic violence. A reporter from the Brooklyn Daily Eagle gives the following description of domestic violence in his article" Murder: Story of Dissipation, Quarreling and Death “dated August 10, 1875.

"The woman, Catharine Maxwell, lay on the floor beside the stove. Both her eyes were horribly bruised. Her face was discolored and swollen; in fact it had been beaten to such an extent that the features were scarcely recognizable. Her right arm was broken just above the elbow, and from appearances it would seem as though she had been struck by her husband with some heavy weapon, such as a chair or an iron poker. Her ribs, some of them, were broken, and she was otherwise discolored and bruised. Her only clothing consisted of a dirty loose wrapper, a skirt, chemise, and pair of gaiters. The room in which she and her husband lived was the rear one on the third floor of the dwelling, which is a large tenement house and filled with families. There was scarcely any furniture in the place and what little there was  of the commonest description, such a scene of squalor and misery could not be excelled, and to add to it, there were the children of the dead woman, one a boy about seven years, and the other a girl hardly two; both were crying, the boy because he realized to a certain extent the nature of the horrible tragedy, and the little girl was most probably screaming for being hungry and neglected. "

Another similar tragedy is also reported in the article "Probable Wife Murder: Woman Thrown from Second Story Window" dated June 3, 1877.

"Barnhill returned home in a drunken condition last night, and began to abuse his wife. All her efforts to pacify him were unavailing, and he finally assaulted her in a most brutal manner, knocking her down and kicking her on the body. His wife, alarmed for her life, rushed to the window and called for help. Disturbances, however, are of such frequent occurrence in the house, that no one paid any attention to her cries, he then dragged her from the window and renewed the assault. Under these circumstances, the unfortunate woman was driven to protect herself as best she could, and a desperate struggle between the couple ensued. She was soon overpowered and knocked senseless to the floor. While in this prostrate and helpless condition the infuriated man picked her up and deliberately threw her from the window. The poor children, who were obliged to be silent spectators of the sufferings of the mother, raised a loud scream of terror when they saw her hurled from the window and heard a loud thud on the sidewalk."

What kind of foundation are these fathers giving to their children for the future? Are they saying, "It’s okay to hurt, maim, or kill? Not only are children witnesses to domestic violence, but also are at high risk for suffering physical abuse themselves, by being in the line of fire, when things are thrown or weapons are used. Sometimes an older child will try to protect its mother, and the batterer will turn on him/ her.

Traumatic experiences such as these, whether it be physical, emotional, or sexual abuse particularly in the early stages of development, can have a devastating and lasting effect on children in their "ability to think, feel, trust and relate to others.”

One of the most common and most overlooked forms of family violence in the United States is Sibling Abuse. Most of their violent acts consist of slaps, pushes, bites, kicks and punches, sometimes ending in death. Many young people are not only violent toward their siblings; they also physically victimize their parents. Most of these acts consist of biting, kicking; shoving and smacking. Even profanity is used. Parents, who are the victims of a violent teenager, often find themselves in a terrible dilemma. They love this child desperately, and would rather suffer silently in fear and shame than to report the abuse to the proper authorities, for fear of having their child taken away from them. . They soul search, feeling guilty, believing that .they must have done something wrong to incur such a violent display of anger. Although calling 911 can be the most difficult decision a parent can make, yet it is one of the most effective ways for that teenager to take responsibility for his/her actions, that violence doesn’t pay.

Frail, debilitated older people may at times be incapable of helping themselves at all and are subjected to neglect, physical and psychological abuse as well as financial exploitation. They too are no exception in this world of violence and abuse. Perpetrators of abuse directed toward the elderly may be their own family members, professional caregivers, etc. These abuses are present at home as well as in care facilities. Rough handling, use of physical restraints, harassment, cursing, insulting, Inadequate provision of food or water, delay of medical care, Inadequate help with hygiene or bathing , forcing them to remain in their urine and feces, by not changing their diapers thus exposing them to long term infections.

Because elderly people are sometimes unable to hear or see well or to be as forceful physically or verbally as they used to be, they are easy targets for exploitation by family members as well as their so called care-givers. Through scamming, the elder person’s bank account is depleted, credit cards abused, their Social Security checks and pension checks that come through the mail are stolen; they are forced into signing a contract that would create a financial commitment, as well as being duped into making a will which under normal conditions would not have been done that would favor the exploiter.

“It is a widely held assumption that women are always the victims and men are always the perpetrators” .The idea that men could be victims of domestic violence is so unthinkable but surprisingly, there have been a few reported  incidents that have occurred  in modern America. However since the ratio of women being abused is far greater than that of the men, this essay will focus on the abuse perpetrated on  the female subject.

(Continue with Part II Patterns of Abuse and Violence)